Making SessKag Your OTP
by DiryDaryPinguin
Summary: Ever doubted the Sesshoumaru x Kagome pairing was the one for you? Fear not ... I will convince you of the contrary. Inu/Kag


**Making SessKag your OTP**

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Face it girls: when you're running your little brains through the tons of fan fiction that has been written for your favorite characters, you may be touched by the friendship bonds; you may appreciate the light descriptions of the environment that surrounds a particular scene; you may even be delighted by the way the rich words come together to form a spectacular show of what should be classified as poetry.

But in the end, the little demon in the back of your mind keeps whispering: "_You wanna be that girl so you can have big boobs, have a bigger ass, and get the hunk._"

And you'll be lying through your teeth if you deny it.

Why do you think your heart starts beating faster whenever the hunk comes closer to the girl and whispers in her ear?

Why do you think your teeth clench and your trembling hands turn into fists every time the hunk is the bad, bad naughty guy that cheats with his 60 year old secretary?

I've got the answer for you: It's because YOU are the girl.

And you want your man on a tight leash, am I correct? You want him to meet your standards, am I correct once again?

Each and every one of us is different, and that applies to our taste in men. So now, I will show you how SessKag is the ultimate one true pairing for you, despite your personality, taste or way of living.

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**Step 1) Acknowledge you are the impersonation of Kagome **

Answer A - Are you the shy girl that has never kissed a boy before? You know she's got it!

Answer B - Are you the jealous yet understanding girl that should have fled long ago but is stupidly in love enough to follow her man to the entrance of Hell (quite literally)? Again, she has it!

Answer C - Are you the strong-willed/stubborn girl that doesn't give up seeing her man even though he shoves a tree through the only portal she could use to get to him? Come on! You know who that is!

No matter what, Kagome will always have a tiny bit of each and every one of you, so there is no reason for you not to be able to see yourself in her skin.

And let's admit it: you want those legs.

**Step 2) Choose your ideal type **

Shall we use Inuyasha as a term of comparison?

Answer A – The Bad Boy Savior

We have all had a thing for bad boys at one point or another in our lives.

While Inuyasha would always come to your rescue, even if it meant getting pierced by poisoned arrows that could rip out his heart (urgh, that pussy) , Sesshoumaru would most likely dodge out of the way so they wouldn't burn his fur. Now wouldn't that be nice? I've always thought of danger as an aphrodisiac. And don't even get me started on death!

Answer B – The Trustworthy Angel

Perhaps you prefer the _safe_ type, so you don't have to carry your heart in your hands and keep him tied to the bed.

Inuyasha is the inconsiderate ghastly monster that ran countless times (or maybe 3 or 4 if we think about it…) into the embrace of the first person he had ever loved and that cared for him when he was alone in the world, and that died because of their affection for one another. Oh, that bastard!

But Sesshoumaru? Oh no, that precious little ball of warmness and _everything-that-is-good _would never hurt a living being. For instance, think about that time when he tried to murder his father because he wouldn't give him swords for him to play with! He was kind enough to give him time to run away! And I know you can understand him. We've all tried to kill our relatives at some point.

Answer C – The Sex Oozing Machine

Sex is one of the most important parts of a relationship, so now, choose wisely.

Would you like to have the dog-eared little demon that has always showed desire towards you and that has the body to drool for? Do not be impressed! I tell you, you DO NOT!

What you really want is the full-blooded demon that despises your species and would probably tell you your body is sickening and your smell nauseating. Ooh yeah! Ever heard of playing hard to get?

Optional: Do you care for the man that showers you with attention, communicates and is funny?

Then remember Sesshoumaru would hop around you like a good little doggy, talk for hours nonstop and tell jokes he picked up from his pals and his caring yet sarcastic mother! Now that I think about it, wouldn't it be nice to spend a quiet afternoon in the underworld with her, while drinking tea and playing chess?

**Step 3) Disregard every indication that another pairing would be best suitable for you**

I will take the ones that may pose a greater threat to you.

Sesshoumaru/Rin – You do not want them. People will always think of her as underage even though in most stories authors clearly state she is legal. Do not trust them. Authors are liars and evil people! I do not care for them.

Sesshoumaru/Kagura – WHAT IS -? NO! You are entering dangerous territory! You will have a hard time identifying with Kagura and even if you manage to do that, Sesshoumaru will treat you like dog food.

Kagome/Kouga – Are you insane? The guy uses a fur headband for Christ's sake!

And that's that.

I believe there are no more major pairings that could interfere with your acceptance of your one true pairing. But I'll tell you one that you can read with no problem whatsoever: Inuyasha/Kagome. _Pfft_, those two have less chemistry than a grasshopper and my cat. I mean, who even came up with that?!

Optional: If I were you, I'd stay away from Miroku/Sango, just in case. You may get reminded of the original, _made-for-one-another pairings_ that Takahashi-san planned for the story and that may ruin your plans…t-though I-I am in no way trying to imply Sesshoumaru and Kagome do not belong to that category! It is obvious that the way he was trying to murder her in the first few episodes was just another way to play hard to get!

Oh, yeah. We're on to you, Fluffy.

**Optional Finishing Step) Erase every memory of non-OTP moments**

Whether you read the manga or watched the anime, burn the memories of moments/episodes when your ultimate OTP does not interact and feed your _feels_.

…

_Ups_, obliterated the whole Inuyasha saga?

Fear not! Fan Fiction's shoulder will always be here for you to cry on.

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Now, send me your answers so I can analyze them.  
Though I must warn you: after my little drabble, you will have become SessKag biased.  
...And it is highly likely that every answer will point to that...but you never know!

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**So, hi xD  
****For those of you that are ready for the kill, come at me!  
My friend and I were discussing ridiculous (who said that?!) OTP's and SessKag come up...and this is what made us laugh through the afternoon!  
Do not take it personally, we understand everyone has a different taste and this was just made for fun :)  
And I never put up disclaimers but I think now is an appropriate time to say I am in no way planning to obliterate the Inuyasha saga o.o**

**See you next time,**  
**DiryDary**


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